Did you know that practicing good etiquette can actually have a positive effect on your personal wealth?    Take a look at this short article to see how.

You go to lunch with a colleague. Everything is good. When the waiter puts the bill on the table, the total is $26.

Do you pick it up? Do you wait and hope he does? Or do you suggest you split it?

On the surface, this is a minor decision. But in truth, it is one of a million chances you’ve had, have, and will have to become wealthier.

A cheapskate might look at it this way:

If I pay the whole bill, I’ll be $26 poorer. If we split the bill, I’ll be $13 poorer. If I can get him to pay it, I’ll be $13 richer.

To the cheapskate, the best decision is obvious. So when the bill arrives, he gets up to “go to the bathroom,” hoping he’ll be $13 richer when he returns.

But I have a different view. Wealth building, like quantum mechanics, often operates according to laws that seem contrary to what is “obvious.”

Paying the tab, in other words, might actually make you richer. Because the $13 you spend on your lunch partner might give you a return of much more than $13.

Your generosity might signal to him that you are the kind of person he can trust. It might tell him you are someone who is willing to give first without demanding recompense. If he sees you in that light, a relationship might be seeded by this small investment on your part. A year later – it is possible to imagine – he might recommend you for a promotion when he himself gets promoted to head up your department.

It depends on your assessment of his character.

If he impresses you as a person who believes – as you do – in reciprocity, you will know that the $13 is a wise investment. If, on the other hand, he shows you that he is a person who believes in exploiting others, the wise move might be to pay only your share of the bill and not develop the relationship any further.

In either case, you are richer.

In the first case, you are richer in a potentially lucrative business relationship. In the second case, you are richer in knowledge – knowledge about him that can help you avoid trouble or seize opportunity in the future.

I am making two points: First, almost every event in your life is an opportunity for you to become richer. And second, by seeing every situation as a wealth-building opportunity, you can take the actions that will gradually make you very rich.

The people I call “instinctive wealth builders” understand this on a gut level. They see every transaction – social, personal, or business – as a wealth-related opportunity. They are always angling, even subconsciously, to increasetheir wealth.

Most of us aren’t born with that instinct. For us, a casual conversation is just a casual conversation. And choosing to join a club or hire or fire an employee is that and nothing more.

But the moment we put this principle into practice, we see the world very differently. Its potential is no longer limited. It is enormous, maybe even infinite. And we view every action we engage in as a chance – big or small – to increase or diminish our wealth.

Train yourself to ask the following four questions – keeping in mind that every situation, big or small, is an opportunity for you to become richer…

Look at every situation you find yourself in as an opportunity to make yourself richer. And I do mean every situation, even the most mundane. This includes:

Some of your opportunities will be small and some large. But by asking yourself these four questions first, you will bring your batting average way up…

If you make it a habit to approach every situation this way, it will soon become automatic. And before you know it, you will have seized hundreds – even thousands – of wealth-building opportunities… each one making you a littler richer.

Can you get fired for cursing at work?

(CareerBuilder.com) — If you’re cursing at work, be careful. While it’s commonplace to curse once in a while and may even help you build a bond with co-workers, there’s a fine line to when and how you curse.

“We are being judged constantly by our co-workers for how we do our work and how we interact with them,” says etiquette expert Cynthia Lett. “Cursing is an aggressive and hostile way of expressing oneself.”

Companies where employees are constantly in front of customers are especially harsh when it comes to foul language — employees caught cursing can be in trouble. Not sure where you stand when it comes to cursing? Here’s how foul language at work can impact your career:

Reveal an unprofessional attitude

In some professions cursing is accepted and can even help you fit in to an environment, perhaps in high-pressure jobs where everyone needs to let off some steam. Constantly using foul language, however, can make it difficult to fit into a professional environment, says Jennifer Kahnweiler, author of “The Introverted Leader: Building on Your Quiet Strength.”

“Perceptions are important in shaping your career — you don’t want to be seen as that foul-mouthed person,” she says. Be especially careful about your language when surrounded by several co-workers at once — such as during meetings or when working in teams.

Prevent real communication

Using curse words over and over again can prevent you from truly communicating what you’re trying to say. Instead of cursing, take the time to figure out how to let your co-workers understand what you’re really thinking. Even if you’re angry or upset, take time to develop a professional communication strategy. “Cursing is an aggressive and hostile way of expressing one’s self,” Lett says.

Furthermore it can create a distance between you and the others in your department because it makes others uncomfortable. “When people are uncomfortable around someone they avoid them whenever possible,” she explains.

Hamper your image

Similar to a disheveled appearance or tardiness, foul language can impact the way you’re perceived by others in the workplace. Even if you do great work, cursing can have an impact on your ability to get promoted or get better job responsibilities.

“You need to be aware of how you present yourself to your co-workers, superiors and clients,” says Suzanne Lucas, a writer and human resources expert. “Swearing when books get dropped on your toes or the copier dies on you is one thing, peppering your daily conversation with expletives is another.”

Repercussions from human resources

Just because no one in your department comments on your use of foul language, doesn’t mean it’s going unnoticed. In some instances it can be reported to human resources with an official warning.

Sometimes it can even get you fired. “Someone who works customer facing [roles] — such as retail or sales or call centers — would be fired for swearing, as it’s not appropriate with a customer,” Lucas says.

Of course not everyone gets fired. And as you evaluate your behavior, cursing once in a while is no cause for alarm. “We all get angry and frustrated and using a curse word can be the best release available,” says Kahnweiler. “Just be aware that this language shouldn’t become your M.O. or you could be seen as lacking self control.”

© CareerBuilder.com 2010. All rights reserved. The information contained in this article may not be published, broadcast or otherwise distributed without the prior written authority.

On-Air Interview with Cynthia Lett and Andi Marshall of KFWB News/Talk 980

For a while I have been interested in how to teach students before they reach high school the skills they will need to be successful in their social and work lives. This article by Heather Wolpert-Gawron who teaches middle school language arts and coaches speech and debate in California’s San Gabriel Unified School District, caught my eye and I thought it would be interesting to you too. ( She blogs at TweenTeacher and is a member of the Teacher Leaders Network. She is currently at work on her second book for Eye On Education Publishing and is also writing workbooks for grades 3 through 6 on project-based writing for Teacher Created Resources.)   The Etiquette in School Foundation has the mission to work etiquette training into the school curriculum.  I believe Ms. Wolpert-Gawron has the same mission.

Read more…

This article from one of my favorite go-to places for employment info (no – I have no intention of working for anyone but me anymore) for my clients is www.theladders.com .  If you have a new job or are seeking how to move ahead, business etiquette training from The Lett Group and employment advice from TheLadders is a great combination.

Job No. 1 at your new workplace: Identify the ”go-to” people in your new company, and listen to their guidance.

After the very big job of finding a new job is complete, it’s time to relax, right? Wrong. Your first 90 days in a new position are critical, especially when it comes to relationship building. What you do or overlook during this time can color your entire tenure with a company — or even cut it short, if missteps during this period are big enough. 

After you have waded through all the forms and orientation materials, you’ll likely want to roll up your sleeves and jump immediately into your work. While the sentiment is admirable (especially if the managers you interviewed with wanted someone who could “hit the ground running”), you’ll be doing yourself and your new employer a disservice if you start making moves at the expense of establishing effective relationships. Experts told TheLadders that early work to establish relationships will pay off handsomely down the line.

The first few days on the job are no time to be a shrinking violet. “My advice to new employees is first and foremost to get in there and start meeting people,” said TyAnn Osborn, director of human resources at the Michael and Susan Dell Foundation. “Don’t just show up and sit in your cube.”

Go to the go-to people

While you’re doing all that meeting and greeting, be on the lookout for the “go-to” people — the ones who know how to get certain jobs done, no matter where those people fit on the org chart. How do you find them? Osborn recommends asking the following leading question after meeting any new person: “Whom do you recommend I speak to now and get to know?” You’ll know you’ve hit on a go-to person when several new acquaintances answer with the same name and say, “Oh, you have to speak with … !”

Now that you’ve identified the go-to people, go to them. Dr. Kevin D. Gazzara, who took early retirement from chip giant Intel and now runs leadership-consulting firm Magna Leadership Solutions, said you should begin cultivating relationships with those go-to people early on. During his early days at Intel, Gazzara said, he made it a point to understand the structure of the division in which he worked and set up meetings with the people who seemed to be setting the tone. “This allowed me to develop a relationship with them, and I could also do a bit of selling of my talents, interests and do some positive internal marketing of the organization I had joined,” he said.

It is also helpful if you can get your hands on an org chart. Most org charts are fuzzy outlines at best, but it’s important to get a sense of who works with whom, who manages whom, who has a dotted line to whom, and so on. Deciphering these relationships early on will help you better understand and more effectively work within the organization.

Of course, the relationship you want built on the strongest foundation possible is your relationship with your boss. Experts recommend putting the shoe on the other foot and “interviewing” your manager — on Day One, if possible. “Find out what makes them tick, why they joined in the first place and, most importantly, what their priorities are so these become your priorities too,” said Osborn.

Experts also recommend that early conversations with your manager involve the development of a 30/60/90-day plan that clearly states what you intend to accomplish in your first three months. While this is a common best practice, you can show your manager — and your colleagues — your focus on collaboration and your ability and willingness to tap others’ expertise by incorporating ideas and suggestions (with appropriate credit) from the meetings you set up during your first days and months on the job.

Perhaps the most important piece of advice for your first 90 days is to establish yourself as a team player by doing more listening than speaking, said Deirdre McEachern, a certified career coach at VIPCoaching. “Too many new employees fall into the trap of trying to prove their worth by offering unsolicited opinions or making odious comparisons to ‘how we did it at my last job,’ ” she said. “Employers and fellow employees want to know you are on their team now and that you are 100 percent committed. The best way to prove your worth is to be a focused listener to your teammates around you. ”